guy_interrupted's blog

Sex, drugs and sausage rolls: London life, love and other random stuff

What a cup of coffee taught me about breakups

with 15 comments

Image: man with cup of coffee

A cup of coffee and a life lesson to go, please.

It was just a coffee.

I wasn’t even expecting a response when I messaged him on Facebook with the razor sharp and achingly original: “Has anyone ever told you you’re ridiculously hot?”

(Seriously, come on. How can anyone fail to be floored by that?)

But it worked, because last Thursday afternoon found us sat in Café Nero on Old Compton Street, smiling, laughing and flirting.

He casually put his hand on the small of my back as we were chatting, eventually moving to my knee and then taking hold of my hand.

“Sorry, is this too…?” he asked, indicating my hand in his and not needing to finish the sentence.

“No, absolutely not.” I replied, smiling. And to my surprise, it wasn’t.

You see, anyone who reads this blog regularly will know that a couple of months ago, I made a heartbreaking decision before I went on holiday, regarding someone I loved very much. I had a short, intense affair with a married man, and I truly believed he was going to leave his sexless, platonic marriage for me. But the stark reality was actually the opposite — he merely wanted a toy he could take out of its box and play with when he felt bored and horny — a bit like a Fleshjack.

So I finished it, and I came out of it heartbroken, bereft and so numb, I felt like jamming my fingers into a plug socket just to remember what it was like to feel something.

I’ve never been a ‘rebounder’. When a relationship ends, I don’t go looking for another one to use as a bandage for the wound. It takes time for me to heal, trust and let my guard down again, so you can imagine my astonishment when I looked at my date and realised: I really like you.

He leaned in for a kiss. And boy, was it good. So good in fact, it had me regretting my decision to go commando that day. I could only look on in embarrassment as I started pitching a tent in my army shorts.

His voice was like butter, with a soft Manchester accent, a bit like the actor who played Vince in Queer as Folk. I could have happily sat there and talked with him all day, but we both had stuff we needed to do. We left the café holding hands, and as he caught sight of us in a shop window, he turned to me and said: “I think we look good together, don’t you?”

I kind of agreed.

I dropped him off at the tube station, and as I walked away I chanced a look back. He was looking too. We grinned at each other before turning away one last time.

Will I see him again? I’d certainly like to, and he seems keen as well. Although he’ll probably read this and run screaming for the hills. But even if that happens, it was just nice to realise I can feel a spark with someone again. If nothing else, I’ve learned a valuable lesson — that there is, indeed, life after an ex.

It was just a coffee — but it was a damn good one.


Written by guy_interrupted

July 26, 2010 at 7:57 pm

15 Responses

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  1. Great blog a very good read from a very sexy guy


    July 26, 2010 at 8:19 pm

  2. You’ve given me hope lovely boy, you’ve given me hope.


    July 26, 2010 at 8:48 pm

  3. Evie, you don’t need to hope, you just need to wait. Any woman would be mental to pass up the opportunity of being your lady x


    July 26, 2010 at 8:50 pm

  4. Fab as always, fingers crossed your next coffee is not a bitter one!

    Claire Mackaness

    July 26, 2010 at 9:21 pm

  5. Beautifully written. I hope my heart heals in time.


    July 26, 2010 at 11:18 pm

  6. They say the best way to get over a man is to get under another one… I kid I kid!!!


    July 27, 2010 at 4:21 pm

  7. I always believe that when one door closes another door opens, it’s up to you who or what you let through that door and into your life. Soooo “Don’t look back you’re not going there! xx

    Mum (again)

    July 27, 2010 at 6:22 pm

  8. you made me smile x


    July 30, 2010 at 7:32 am

  9. It’s like a fantasy come true…

    So simple an innocent. Yet so impossible for others all at the same time.


    July 30, 2010 at 3:15 pm

  10. I know who it is!


    July 30, 2010 at 7:42 pm

  11. Awww dude. I am mesmerised by this blog and truth be told that must mean I am mesmerised by you! What a heartwarming update. Be good. Peter. Xx


    July 31, 2010 at 9:40 am

  12. Good on you for taking a chance in the first place with the Facebook message, and glad to hear it already paid off by giving you some zest back. Thanks for another enjoyable post!


    August 1, 2010 at 6:40 am

  13. Love the blog and certainly hope he’s a good guy. Sure he enjoyed the view of the tenting shorts!

    London Gay

    August 14, 2010 at 10:47 am

  14. A friend turned me onto your blog recently, and to be honest I cannot stop reading. Loved this one, gives me hope as is seems like all my relationships never evolve past coffee. You seem like a great guy, best of luck with all future coffees…

    Canadian Guy

    October 15, 2010 at 7:30 pm

  15. I enjoyed your post… I know the feeling. After two gut-wrenching breakups and four years of being single, I was vacationing in Australia and met a girl there (I’m from the U.S.). I knew the likelihood of a relationship THAT long distance working out was not great, but why resist? I knew that if nothing else, it finally proved to me that I *was* capable of falling in love with someone again, and that there could be someone who could finally take my heart from my first ex, who had broken up with me seven years prior.

    We’re still long distance, but hopefully someday soon we will fix that. And we’re engaged. 🙂


    July 25, 2011 at 2:34 am

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